Growing up as kids we might have learned the concept of “injustice” through small instances, such as one kid getting a cooler snack for lunch than another or one being naturally better at basketball than another. “It´s not fair” we might have wined or heard other complain. “Life´s not fair” might have been an appropriate, through difficult response to hear. After the anger, frustration and discontent pass, we begin to learn a lesson as to how to deal with the injustice. I am still learning these lessons at age 24. Many times unexplainable events happen here (as everywhere) that make me want to scream or cry or bust and exclaim, “It´s not fair!!!” I want to act out like a child and throw a tantrum. Here I want to share with you just three of the instances I have experienced in Nicaragua that have caused me to feel such sentiments.
These days we are in the heart of the rainy season. It rained every day from October 1 through the 19th. The rains come in heavy waves, torrential downpour, or sometimes just gray and on and off for days straight. Last week we experienced some of the heaviest rains which caused us to start to feel tired of the rain. Enough already! In the community we moan over our clothes, belts, shoes, and bags which have grown moldy, leaks that enter through walls and somehow dampen the beds, laundry which just never dries, and the immense effort it takes to leave the house in the morning for work when it is down pouring. Though Sunday while visiting with my host family here, they informed me of a tragedy that happened in Matagalpa (a city in the north of Nica) that week. A nine year old girl was walking with some friends back to her home from school, trekking through the rain, when she fell suddenly and rapidly into one of the “manholes,” the rain drains that carry the water to the lakes. The manholes in Nicaragua are seriously dangerous for this precise reason because most of them are uncovered. The tops are stolen all over the country, and used or sold by thieves to build houses or other structures. They are big enough for any human being to fall into so all are aware to exercise caution when walking on a sunny day; on a rainy day, when the rain is up to knee-length and one cannot see the ground on which they walk, one might pray, walk softly, or not walk at all. A nine year old girl fell into the hole, quicker than her young schoolmates knew what had happened, she was carried through the drain system, and found days later, mangled, dead, and destroyed on a river’s shore. How unjust, an innocent life lost so tragically!
The banks I work in function on a guarantee of solidarity. We give group loans and the women are encouraged to support each other in a time of crisis. For this reason, if a woman wants to enter the banks, she needs to have the recommendation of a woman who is already in the banks. The woman who recommends the others accepts full responsibility for the debt of the other woman if she cannot pay her first loans. Last year Rosa and her daughter Raquel recommended Doña Dalilia for a loan in the banks. They knew her from the school that their kids attended and even through she was not the most punctual person, they recognized her as a dedicated, working woman who wanted a loan to continue to work. Dalilia started off in the banks as a great member; she attended the meetings with a big smile and friendliness and paid her weekly sum. About halfway through the cycle, she decided to make the common haul to Costa Rica to find better work. She took her loan with her, and left Rosa and Raquel to cancel more than half of her debt. She promised she would send money back (as so many Nicaraguans who migrate to C.R. do!), but Rosa and Raquel never saw that money. Rosa and Raquel saw her kids in school, still dressed well, still participating in activities, and assumed she was sending money back, just not to them. Months later she returned to Nicaragua and was pleased though shamed to find her loan closed by Rosa and Raquel, who had struggled immensely to cancel it. We, the bank team, knowing the impoverished situation of Rosa and Raquel, came to an agreement with Dalila, that she would slowly start to pay us back, and we would facilitate this money to Rosa and Raquel. She told us a lot of “I don´t have much and it´s very hard for me to make money these days, but I will give you what I have and what I have promised.” Well, we are visiting Dalilia every 15 days, a 20 minute walk out of the barrio and back, and she has not been home the days we come to collect, and she has not given us a cent. We can´t make her pay, but we want Rosa and Raquel to have some of their money back. I know there are some parables about this in the Bible.
Recently in the banks we have been giving workshops on violence. For most of the groups, we had a guest speaker come in who helped the women open up about talking about violence, “breaking the silence,” identifying the types of violence, and recognizing that they experience some or all of these types of violence. In the smallest group we showed a documentary about violence against women, made for and by women in Nicaragua. I have been astounded by the stories I have heard these past weeks. I have been shocked by the quantity of women who identified with the women´s testimonies in the movie about spousal abuse, and with the jokes made about violence to “break the ice,” and with the tears, and bruises I have seen on the women. Maria Elena opened up yesterday about the abuse she has been standing from her husband for the past 35 years and from her kids who drink all the time and come home to treat her as though she were not a human being. Damaris came to us two weeks ago, eyes black and blue and ready to go with Grety to the police to denounce, “enough already!” Felicita is having nightmares from the sexual abuse her daughters experienced by the hands of the girls´ father. I have seen several children be hit with belts by family members, as I have tried to wrap my head around understanding this completely outrageous behavior… none of which I can identify.
Outrageous. Causing outward expression of rage. IT¨S NOT FAIR! That she experiences this, and I have not. And I´ve exerpeinced something else, that she has not. Life´s not fair! Even though it has been very difficult to witness and see these things close to first-hand, I am still grateful. I am grateful that I live in a place where the people around me are so conscious of the injustice that happens around them, which causes them to act for justice and peace in their communities. After visits with the women, I reflect with my co-workers, Grety and Silvio on the heaviness of the visit, the sadness of the woman, whatever it is at the time and I am amazed when their reactions are often more strongly expressed than mine. When we Jesuit Volunteers arrive to work in El Recreo all wet from the 10min. walk in the rain, our coworkers say things like, “oh, poor things, you got wet on the way! This rain is bad, huh? But it´s still not as bad for us as it is for others. Imagine those poor people along the edges of the sewage drains with dirt floors and make-shift roofs…we have to think of them in a time like this!” And they remind me everyday of the need to overcome selfishness which is found just dwelling in disappointment over injustice.
We cannot let the injustice paralyze us. I am learning here that I need to channel the anger and frustration into positive action for fairness, for justice, for equality, peace, and love. We need to work to fill in the gaps of injustice and strive to give what we have of ourselves (time, energy, organization, resources) where others have not. Life is NOT fair. But God is. And as a human being and as a Catholic, I am called to face injustice and suffering, and act for justice and peace. Jesus calls us all to this in His teachings, like the parables of the Prodigal Son, the Good Samaritan, the Sower of Seeds, and the Final Judgment. These days I am searching for how to channel the anger I experience when faced with injustice, big or small, into strength to work for justice and to work for justice with love.
::: the community :::
celebrating the visit of a Former Nica Jesuit Volunteer,
Anne Berry, with her husband George, friend Paola, and pizza!!! woo hoo!
::: our neighbors :::Doña Tere and Doña Maxima, best friends
who sit outside D. Maxima´s house every night and talk, even in the rain
::: the lunch community :::
some co workers and friends with whom I eat lunch everyday
Doña Elieth (chef extraordinaire!), Hilda, Paula, Me, Mary, Mirna, Haisy
::: the mujeres :::
the women of Banco 8 who shocked me with a party for my birthday!!
HUGE cake, piñata, chips, sanwiches, soda, dancing!!!
