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loved ones,

gosh i miss you. it has been way too long since i´ve written. often i feel so overwhelmed by the amount i want to write and tell you, ask and hear from you, and THANK YOU! my goodness! for all of your letters, packages, emails, of prayers and love! communication has been a challenge for me as of late, though i know i owe you my best attempt. i can´t think of a theme for this email... everything is always very exciting around here. sometimes i think to myself, "8 mos huh? should be calming down aaany day now..."... I dont anticipate that, really ever in the remaining mos. entonces, le voy a contar... (so, i´m going to tell you..)

these have been some of biggest joys as of late...

- repeating the retreating! for our second retreat we ventured to northern nicaragua, where it is "so cold" (upper 60s) that most of us got sick! not real sick, just lil cough and cold... but to be where the temperature is cool was a treat! not only that, we had an incredible time reflecting and praying together along the theme of "when you pray, move your feet: a retreat on the interconnectedness between faith and action, oneself and one's community, and one's community and the world around us." we stayed in rustic cabins in the countrysde/farm type of nicaragua. Peaceful central! lots of hiking allowed for all kinds of adventure prayers. i got down with the cows for one photo! james almost got eaten by a snake which wanted to sleep with him. matt fell 10 feet off a mountain. Everyones doing fine now. Haha. Ultimately, the retreat helped me (and i believe the others too) that as we walk here in Nicaragua, we are walking on holy holy ground. not only do we walk amidst the sanctity of the poor, which opens us up to the reality of humanity, but to walk on the earth with the consciousness that it is God's grand earth... opening us up to the reality of the Divine! Colors of the Wind was a perfect theme song. listen to it if you can :)

- my work in the banks. finally, after 8 mos., i am starting to feel more comfortable with my work in the micro lending banks. first off, i learn so much, daily, from the wisdom of my two Nicaraguan co workers. it is just so enlightening for me to work along side of them for the same cause, knowing what different worlds we come from. in a heart-to-heart the other day with Silvio, he casually mentioned how hungry he was as a child. "we almost never ate. Almost never never. i was so hungry for so long." How do I respond to that? and here he is now, working alongside me, who has never known bodily hunger for a day, trying to serve the community of Nicaragua where he grew up. on the bank end... we have just opened a new little bank! super exciting! a new group of women to include, who have just receive their first loans for businesses. it was a blast for me being a part of the "orientation" process! the best part is seeing this one woman, Glenda, who is in her early 20s. her mom has been a part of the banks for years, but their conditions at home are still just atrocious. Glenda has barely left her house since she finished 2nd year of high school, has 3 kids, and now will have the chance to start a business. She is already selling ice and juice, bouuncing off the walls with motivation and energy! and excitement to be a part of this group. i love watching this unfold, wondering if our weekly visits to her house maybe have had something to do with this small progress. also fun, she told me she really wants to be my friend :) excellent!

- fun times on camera! this past week two guys visit from the states, carrying 7 pieces of camera luggage... their making a jvc documentary! well, a couple! recruiting films and things like that! the first time this has ever been done. they have already filmed some of the jvc domestic sites, and ours was chosen to show what jvi looks like! so david and thomas followed us around for 3 days straight, camera IN the face! again, i was in my glory with this one. their being here had me reflecting like crazy, on what things i am proud to show them, and what things i see myself still wanting to improve on. this list is long.... ultiamtely, i know that 16 mos will go by fast, to try to be and live and serve how i dream and i pray about.

these challenges I feel frequently...

- have i told you about the energy crisis in nicaragua? for months now nicaragua has been "short on energy," no one is really sure about who is to blame for this problem. the main concept i have gather so far is that the people do not pay their electric bills, so the power company cant afford to run the plants. so Union Fenosa cuts electricity from 2-10pm everyday. in el recreo, where i work, it is out from 2-7, and at barrio la luz, where i live, it is out from 5-10... so, yeah, 2-10 everyday. remember the blackout of new york city? remember how crazy it was and everyone was up in arms like the world was going to end? well, we are stocked up on candels, for every night we are in complete darkness. i feel horrible even saying this is a challenge. the poor women in the banks who sell ice and juice are suffering alot more than i am. so are the people waiting for surgery in the hospitals who are continually pushed back, because there is no electricity. but, i am so human, as i realize more everyday... and i am getting tired of this darkness... its hard to read, write, cook.... so we usually just end up sitting around talking or singing with the guitar. no electricity means no internet cafes open.... i feel so behind on life with all of you... i am really sorry for the lack of communication. patience, flexibility, releasing of myself and my own desires. we do get electricity on the weekends, usually with no interruptions... thus, here i am...

- we are faced everyday by people with such grave illnesses, who have no oportunities for health care or any sort of improvement. and it almost seems unfair that we have these opprtunities, are able to take advntage of them, and do. and then to wonder, how am i contributing to the injustice that kills these people? we are visiting one woman in the banks, Marieliz, who was diagnosed about a month ago with cervical cancer, uncurable. she is 30, has 3 kids, and is on her death bed. i feel like it is hard enough to watch one die in this way. amidst the conditions here, it rips my heart out. for all the sick in the world, may God gift them strength.

- this past weekend i escaped to the beach. so necessary, to justify my not being at the Hamptons with the Lynches! I just had to go to feel like I was there with them in a way. all morning, through all the packing up, buying food in the market, i was SO antsy. "just wanna get there!!!"... the guys took hours getting ready, the buses seemed to take forever, fireworks were exploding in the streets, we couldnt find the house we were going to stay at, etc, etc... finally, 3pm or so, we get to the beach. i lotion up, for mom and dad ;), and run down to the ocean. its too warm! i thought. there is an undertoe! ugh! i was in there by myself, not a person for miles... i tried to do all of our cousin tricks in the waves. over! under! tackle... oops, no one to tackle. sharky? nope. i got out of the water and literally tried building a sand castle with my hands... i gave up after the mote... and i sat there, almost hopeless, realizing that this is my real sacrifice. truly, nothing about this experience in Nicaragua is so challenging except that element of missing my family. not being with you all in the Hamptons. i thank God for the memories. the endless stories that i play back in my head. but even to play them back, reminds me of where I am not. it reminds me of the extraordinary gift of God that family with faith is. cousins spalshing in the water. us running around on the beach! aunts and uncles reading, exchanging stories, and playing cards! ham and cheese sandwiches on buns, goldfish, iced tea, etc! gosh we are so so lucky. and i miss you all tremendously. and i hope that hamptons was a blasst! and i can't wait to hear ALL you can tell me!

on that note, i am going to go on with saturday. drinking nicaraguan coffee, cleaning the bathroom, and maybe entertaining some of the chill'ens on our block. thank you for keeping up with me through this. i love every word and bit of life i receive from you, snail, email, packages of prayers. your love strengthens me and restores me to live these crazy two years like i believe i am called to. oh God is great! happy end of summer!!! i will think of you all with back to school shopping, college packing, fall-clothes shopping, things like that! may we always remember how blessed we are.

i love you!

margaret