Nica News

For our community newsletter, "NicaNews," I have written the following up from January and February:

February NicaNews

What time do you get up today?

10 to 6…. Why?
Curiosity
What time did you wake up this morning?
2 in the morning
Really Silvio? For the water?
Yes
With everyone else in the barrio, right?
Yes. It´s horrible. The poor woman, who lives on that other street, what’s her name? the woman that owes us all that money?
Concepción
Yeah, you know… I´ve seen her going up to the main street to collect the water in buckets because it never comes to her house.

***

One day at lunch this week, we gathered around the table and Ana Maria (the Provincial of the Sisters of Sion from Costa Rica), started to say Grace. She mentioned how one day last week I was talking about how difficult the visits to the women in the banks have been. And she prayed [to the best of my memory]… “There is much pain in this neighborhood. Let us remember today how much pain there is in this neighborhood; how much the people suffer, from all the sicknesses, the debts, the spouses; the poverty; so painful.” I don’t remember how she ended the grace (though I know that was the most important part…about how God saves all); my mind went off wandering about how true her first statement was. There is much pain in this neighborhood. There IS SO much pain. I have felt this pain recently — pain from hearing about so much pain! And this has characterized much of my January days.

More Feb NicaNews

Two months into new community! The craziness of Christmas time is fading away, and we are starting to develop a sense of “normalcy” in our home. In Celebration of the upcoming “Día de Amistad y Amor,” I wish to share with you my love of my community mates…

People always ask us if any of us are dating. We usually giggle, joke, and smile, as we attempt to explain the “no-dating” concepts of JVI that are inferred in the handbook. Is it a chastity clause? Serious discernment is HIGHLY encouraged if community mates are considering dating. Though many former JVs of Nicaragua have dated each other! JVs of other communities have dated and could potentially be dating right now. Some of our last “dates” were well over a year ago, and JVI Nicaragua has successfully survived over a year without anyone dating each other! In this month of Valentines, I wish to confess to you, friends and family, that I am physically, emotionally, and spiritually attracted to my community mates*. Each of them in their own way… one way or another, and while the extent of the feelings may vary by person, by day and sometimes by the hour, I would date any one of them. I don’t, because it is clear that we are already committed to each other as community mates. But they would surely be super life-companions! And “without hope or agenda” of dating any of them now or in some distant future, I confess that I very deeply love each of them.

I think it was unavoidable that I fell in love with them, constantly being drawn to them… we wake up together, we pray together, we eat together, we work together, we market-shop together, we clean together, we sit in rocking chairs together, we play together, we play with the kids together, we visit neighbors together, we travel together, we cry together, we laugh together, we debrief together, we watch movies together, we save/spend money together, we read together, walk together, run together, brush our teeth together, sing together, struggle together, dream together and we go to bed together… though there’s a wall or two that separates us. And this isn’t all. And this somehow works out! And this channels my faith! And causes me immense growth! And brings me perfect joy! This living-together-ness/ fake-dating/ imaginary-marriage/ community grasps why heart in a way that invites me closer to God, everyday. Why wouldn’t I want to date any one of them?

I look forward to seeing them in the morning… before I go to sleep and when I wake up. I used to not be able to sleep at night because I was so excited about the next morning. Thank goodness that has faded, though their peaceful morning bed heads and sleepy eyes still warm my searching heart. I love the frequent nights when I am the last to bed, and they are all resting their tried and true souls. I love hugging them at the Sign of Peace at mass, because it is for me the most authentic contact we have in the week. I love talking with them… in circles or one-on-one… hashing out the great questions of life, over and over, and never finishing. I love how angry and sad they can get about the injustices we experience here. We share these heart-breaking moments, and second-hand pain and I believe that through these, we are strengthened in common dreams. I love when we socialize with others and find that instance in a wink, a nudge, or a smile, when I know we are both really glad the other is there. I love fumbling over Spanish with them; especially when we reach that vulnerability when neither of us is really sure that we understood, moreover knows how to respond. How they’ve comforted me in moments of sadness or outrage, and how they’ve delighted in my joys. How faithful they are! And they have committed to going to mass every Sunday with me and the community! They do little things around the house, even when no one notices. They cook delicious dinners. And even when they’re not THAT delicious, or when they’re quite spicy, or the same thing we had for lunch, I still love it because it is blessed food that we share, because they made it, and because we are gathered around a Table to be nourished by it. And they make me laugh!! A lot! And in the most innocent, non-violent, loving ways. We are not without our faults, failures, fears, or frustrations. They challenge me in ways I never could have imagined (see James’entry). We disagree. And agree to disagree. And through it all, I know there is a level of truth and love that I have definitely crossed.

My Febuary “Casa Confession.” Jenna, Michael, Mary, Josh, James, I love you. I cherish you. You are so beautiful. Your eyes. Your eyebrows when you raise them the way only you can. Your hair as it grows and when you cut it. Your morning look. Your dressed-up look. Your “I just got home from work” look. Your community night, “I´m really tired” look. Your smell. Especially when you’ve been hand-washing clothes for an hour! By your presence and our living-together-ness, you have taught me that any future dating of mine should be no less thrilling than the thrill of the coexistence I have experienced with you.

*This extends to former community mates.

From our January NicaNews

I made a sign for the airport that exclaimed, “Just What I Always Wanted!!!” A common Nuzzolese expression for Christmas morning when Santa would bring us exactly what we had been desiring. On December 26 I held up the sign at the Sandino airport and waited joyfully with my whole community for the arrival of my whole family. Just what I always wanted! Butterflies tossed in my stomach as I watched the people come out of customs into baggage claim. That’s them!! There they are!! That’s my family!! OH my gosh I couldn’t believe it. After such an intense year of learning and growing and laughing and crying, there before my eyes, on the other side of this big glass window, was my family! Mom, Dad, Lizzy, Coll, and Pat! They came running over to me, though still on their side of the window, the same beaming beautiful faces, exploding with Nuzzolese energy and excitement. Though Pat was a foot taller, they all looked exactly the same. Same flesh and bones; tears streaming down their faces, as when I saw them last, though this time with huge smiles. We waved and jumped up and down and cried and laughed, rejoicing in our physical proximity! They huddled in a line, arms around each others’ shoulders just looking at me from the other side. GO GET YOUR BAGS! I kept trying to tell them as my body reacted physically, almost heaving, out of breath with excitement. They just stood there for a bit, tearing, and smiling at me. Go get your bags so I can hug you, I kept repeating and pointing to the conveyer belt. Eventually they got their bags and we embraced for 8 days in the heat and adventure of Nicaragua and the AC and comfort of a hotel. Just what I always wanted. To just stare into their eyes and to feel their skin and hug them tightly and hold their hands, after a year and 21 days of dreaming about them. Just what I always wanted.