...and the cause of the causeway?

Every morning on our way to work, Mary, Matt and I cross over this little bridge which brings us further into the barrio. It´s about 20 feet long. For me, it´s a big bridge. It crosses over a causeway that is always completely filled with garbage. Most of the days, there is trashing burning below our feet when we walk over and the smell is wretched. Some days, there is lots of trash burning and I walk quickly with my shirt over my nose. Good days are when I see little kids crossing over it on their way to/from school, in their white shirt, blue pants standard Nicaraguan uniforms, little back packs, holding mom´s hand. Adorable. Many people live in houses that line this causeway. It´s their backyard or frontyard, more or less. Less adorable.

Today when we crossed over, I couldn´t help but to stare at this boy, maybe 12 years old, walking through the causeway, through the garbage, barefoot. He had a big plastic bag in his hand and seemed to be looking for something. Food? Clothes? I´m not positive. But I´m fairly certain that it wasn´t an orthodontic retainer...

I asked Matt what the English word for ¨causeway¨is... well, it´s still ¨causeway.¨ It´s a sort of water way where the excess water during the rainy season is supposed to drain into Lake Managua (seriously polluted). So all the trash fills up the causeway... I wonder what happens during the rainy season.

¨siempre feliz¨

It´s almost 9am. I have been up since 6 and at work since 7:30, but it´s never too early to have a completely fulfilling conversation with a co-worker. I am sitting in the computer lab of the project typing this, when I really should be working on the survey for the gimnasio (gym). I´m not sure why I so desire to share this conversation with you... but here it is...

Mariela is about 32 years old and has been working in the proyecto at El recreo for some years. She has 3 kids... 17,15, and 5, the youngest is named ¨Vida Luz¨ (life light). So far she has struck me as one of those hip, enthusiastic, sorta-hard working, opinionated, and super fun to be around people. She teaches the computacion (computer) class at the project where people who have passed 6th grade can come to learn how to use Word, Excel, etc. (I should probably take an Excel class while I´m here)

So I came into the lab to use the computer, to make a survey, and I asked her how she was... ¨muy muy feliz!¨ (so so happy!)... Mariela, you are so happy today and you were so happy yesterday. Why are you so happy? (If this were the States I would have askd her if there is a new romance in her life... but unfortuantely I knew that this probably wasn´t an option). She said ¨well, there are so many things to be happy about. Everything in my life is well. So why should I not be happy!!¨

I totally agreed... I enjoy happiness and happy people! I responed with ¨Sure, there are always many things to be happy about¨ (Thinking to myself, ¨Marg, look around, you know there are always things to be sad about too... but I didn´t say this...)

She agreed. Saying of course. Why should I not be happy. I have no reason to not be happy. For example, she said, there is a woman that walks up and down her street, every morning at 6am selling ¨cosos de orno¨... which means ¨things of the oven¨... bread and baked goods. Mariela said that every morning this woman walks up and down the block smiling. She is always ¨feliz¨ (happy)... So why should Mariela not be happy ¨Every morning, this woman leaves her home in the campo to come to Managua to sell cosos de orno... she has been doing this since she was 14 years old... and about 3 times a week I buy the cosos de orno... not because I need them or because I want them. But they are 2.50 cords (about 18 US cents) and I can help her work. And there are so many woman like this! They sell torillas and bread and other things, up and down the streets, it is a very difficult life! And they are always happy. ¨Siempre feliz¨... I responed something like ¨yeah that´s really beautiful¨... thought for a moment about how much further I was ready to go with this conversation, and then continued... ¨and for this, this is an important reason of why I am here. Because this happiness is something you dont find often in the States, but very often here. And I have so much more to learn about these woman, the ones that work in the streets, and the women like you and the others here that work in the project. And even the men here who work in other places. This deep appreciation of basic things¨

And then Mariela responded with an answer that is so embedded in me but that I sometimes slip and lose grip of...

She said ¨well the thing is, I have family in the US. My aunt is In Miami with her family. And they know of the reality here and they send me things that help me to do my work her. They help so that my children can go to school and so that I can work here in the project. They send things that don´t serve them or function there, that they know we can use here. And this is why I can get up every morning and make breakfast for my children and come here to work in the project, because I love this work. I think it is so important. And I enjoy it. And I can still have lunch with my kids and then come back and work in the project. And for this, for the help of my family, I am able to do those things that I want and have to do. And for this, I am happy¨...

And I just stood there and smiled and said ¨... me too.. ¨

Because ¨la cosa es que¨ (the thing is that)... why should I not be always happy?
(My cyncial friends, insert your answer here...)

I am here, in Nicaragua, doing whatever it is I am doing... and loving it... But I am only able to do it because of my family in the states. All because of you, I am. Family and friends supporting me with loving encouragement. And delicious sustinence in the form of email, mail, and packages.

I am happy because Mariela is happy. And appreciates this same thing that I do. And we are so equal in this way, despite what some days I see as extreme differences.

And I am happy because I know my Mom and Dad would say this same thing that Mariela did. I am happy because this is a conversation I have had before, with many other people... probably you...

So I can too be ¨siempre feliz¨ ... ¨always happy¨ ...because this type of conversation and appreciation happens!


How happy we are, How happy we are, How happy we are! =)
I hope you´re happy in the end, I hope YOU´RE happy, my friend...

“What’s Going On Down There?” // THE BASICS

18. jan. 07

“What’s Going On Down There?” is the title of a book that parents can purchase to answer some difficult questions of their pre-teenager. I’m using the title to answer some basic questions which have been difficult for me to answer so far… like what exactly is going on “down here” in Nicaragua? But as my community mate James likes to remind me, if the world is a sphere, nothing is really ever really up or down – except of course our moods! This will probably get a bit long… I’m just throwin’ it all out there for now…

So I am living in Managua, Nicaragua. My address is describe in how many streets I am away from the rotundo, using “al lago” (to the lake) “al sul” (to the south) “arriba” and “abajo” (up and down.. like the sun)… why, Bono? BECAUSE THE STREETS HAVE NO NAMES. Yup, one of U2’s greatest songs is about Managua (Thanks Liz Nuzz). Nicaragua is the second poorest country in the entire Western Hemisphere (second to Haiti), and this is clear (not because there are no street signs). Despite the poverty it is a beautiful country. I love walking to the bus stop and seeing the volcanoes in the distance (15 total in the country and I’ve already been to two). The lakes are powerful and the lagoons (from the volcanic craters) are peaceful. The streets are filled with people and political propaganda that remain from the Presidential elections this past November (more on that later). It’s hot… 90s…and this is the “winter season.” …so the cold showers are a blessing!

In Managua, I live in a barrio* (neighborhood) called “La Luz” (the light). I guess it could be considered Nicaragua “middle” class, because it is not the most fachenta (fancy, high class) area, but it’s far from the city dump. It’s called La Luz because every so often we lose power (and water) at night. Most of the streets in the barrio are paved, but ours is more of a dirt road. I love seeing the neighbors wake up in the morning and “water the street”… they water the dirt/sand so that it minimizes the amount of dust that is blown into their houses (there is A LOT of dust, but it’s funny to watch… why it’s funny, I don’t know). In the first week that I was here, my community mates and I spent a week living with different families in the barrio. This was a fabulous way to get to know our Nicaraguan neighbors and one family especially.
(*my Spanglish has taken over my English so I’ll translate where I can)

I deeply enjoy the house I live in: it is lime green on the outside! We have more than enough in terms of “things we need” but it is humble in comparison to how I would be living in the states. For example, washing clothes by hand is therapeutic. I enjoy it. And I think I’m gaining some sweet back muscles. More so, I feel blessed knowing I do not have to wake up at 4am like my co-workers to catch the water for the day.

Who is “we”? “We” is my community: Matt, Adriana, James, Josh, Mary, and Margie. We are the Jesuit Volunteers for 2007 (a Nicaraguan school year). Matt and Adriana have been here, living in this house and working at their same sites for one year (2006) with four other volunteers who left in December. They have now taken us four new kids (James, Josh, Mary and myself) under their wings and have been training us for survival. A little on each, oldest to youngest…
- Matt (Omaha, NE) is tall, upfront, advising, knowledgeable, loves college basketball, hiking, and forming a Midwest alliance in the house.
- Josh (Sioux Falls, SD) shares everything he has, from his honest opinions to the bread he makes, his passion for music theory, and the hot water in the AM
- Adriana (San Diego, CA) is soft and sweet, Mexican-American (a walking Spanish-Eng dictionary for me!), charming, considerate, loves talking about boys.
- James (New Haven, MI), theology major in school and life. Animated and alegre (happy)! We practice our Jesuit educations by conversing endlessly on grand topics
- Mary (Marietta, GE), southern beauty in all realms. Independent but loves friends and Patty Griffin. Adventurous. Had American Dolls as a girl.
- Margie/Mags (Port Wash, NY). Things that they would maybe write about me: I fall a lot and run into things often. I am easily amused. And if there is chocolate in the fridge, it will not last long. I love and miss my family more than anything.
The house we live in has been passed down from the JVs for 4 years now, and before that, they JVs lived down the block. We are known by the neighbors and kids, who frequently visit us because they have to “use the bathroom” (really because we have “cool stuff” in there). Our neighbors take care of us. We share kitchen stuff and they will sometimes share their outrageous Nicaraguan food with us (and laugh when they smell our burning beans). Our next door neighbors are always sitting outside on their plastic chairs chatting together and it reminds me very much of home. There is a little boy next door named Hassan (3 years old) who loves running up and down outside out house and trying to scare us. He’s adoooorrable.

Because of the vacations of Christmas and New Years, I just started work this week in a barrio (neighborhood) called El Recreo. [Irony of beginning work, first day, on what is Martin Luther King Day (observed) in the US… I am faithful that Dr. King would have supported my working in this way to “observe” and celebrate his life]. In El Recreo there is a social project called “Proyecto Generando Vida” which has been established since 1990. It is a sort of Catholic social outreach project that offers programs to adults and children in the barrio, run cooperatively by both people who live in the barrio and a group of Sisters of Zion. El Recreo is very poor in comparison to where I live and it shocks me to go there each day. No roads are paved, children walk around with no shoes and sometimes no clothes, stray dogs are everywhere, drunk men crowed the corners at 8am (well, all day. But they are up and drunk in the AM), the list goes on.

BUT Proyecto Generando Vida is a hopeful service that is offered to the El Recreans. In the project there is a comedor, where children can come or lunch who would have otherwise not had lunch, and the volunteers will give little classes to educate while they eat; there is a school supplement program where kids who want extra schooling can attend classes; there is a bank where over 100 woman participate in micro-lending and financing; a computer lab, pharmacy, a library, a health sector, and a gym. My co-workers are friendly and fun and I look forward to the day when I can converse with them as myself, uninhibited by my imperfect and improving Spanish. I knew I’d like working there when on Monday we began with a prayer, a recap (good/bad, high/low) of vacations, and hugged each other…

This week we did a bunch of prep-work as matriculation for the school year starts on Monday. Magical memories came back to me of when I would walk from Grandmom’s to St. Peter’s in the summer to help the teachers set up their classrooms. Cleaning, painting, disaster relief like that. Making propaganda to inform the barrio of the programs. Fabulous moment: going door to door one afternoon with the propaganda and inviting people to come sign up on Monday. In light of my UGBC experiences, I never thought I’d have to hand out quarter sheets and “campaign” in Nicaragua, in Spanish. Pretty hilarious. As for a more permanent role in the project, I’m still trying to figure that out. There was a gang prevention program here that did not work the first time and they hoped maybe I would fill that role. But as things are always changing here in Nicaragua, it now sounds like they are looking for a fitness/nutrition program. (Flexibility and patience here is key for me) There’s a good chance I’ll be doing Jane Fonda and Jazzercise with Nicaraguan women….Definitely something to look forward to.

With Mary and Matt (who also work in El Recreo), I take the public bus each day to and from work. This experience is a far cry from the Newton or Comm Ave bus, even on Saturday nights. The buses are the big yellow school bus kind, except they are all painted different colors and plastered with all kinds of random stickers. I especially love the giant Spiderman eyes on the front windshield of some of them. I am most careful of my surroundings on the buses, and I should be. i.e. Women here always keep money in their bras so that they are less likely to get pick-pocketed. There does not seem to be any sort of “safety standards” or “maximum capacity” rules here. Just about everyday I’m on a bus in which there are 2 people to a seat, and four people in the aisle, standing side by side in each row. We hold on to the bars on the ceiling so we don’t go flying, but even when the bus stops short, one doesn’t go very far because there is no where to go. Getting off the bus is an experience in and of itself… climbing through the jungle of people to get to the back of the bus, banging on the wall to make sure the driver stops, and then jumping out the door as quickly as possible to avoid getting stuck on the bus or in the door. It is not always like this. I’d say half of the time. The other half is when I can see the floor of the aisle and people walk up and down it: selling water or pretty much anything; evangelical preachers; blind men singing and entertaining, you name it. Those are the times when I love looking out the window, with wonder an awe, that I am living in Nicaragua.


For the past month and a half, I have been trying to become “accustomed” to Nicaragua. I believe this will never actually happen. I’ll never know what it’s really like to be Nicaraguan… I can never forget Gino’s Pizza, Let There Be Bagels, or the “adarondackarelli” chairs outside our comfy Nuzzolese home. And I believe that the moment I feel “accustomed,” I’m actually further from being accustomed than I already was. There is a great deal of shock value to being here. I’ve “adjusted” to some of the shock, but I always catch myself staring at something I find totally outrageous and then pinching myself. For example, the daily smell of burning trash. The horse and “carriages” (unlike Central Park) that drive in the street. The women carrying tortillas in baskets on their heads. The shoe-less 3 year olds hanging out on the side of the major boulevard. Feeling like I live in the North Shore Animal Shelter because of all of the dogs. And so on… However, I am starting to sleep better at night, wear pants during the day, and to walk around with more comfort than fear. My spirit is strong with faith and hope – I believe for that I owe thanks to you back home for praying for me. I feel totally blessed to have the opportunity to be here, to learn and grow in ways I am hardly aware of. It is a gift that I am thrilled to share.

simplicity

1.9.07
I’ve only written one entry and already I feel like keeping a blog is going to be a challenge. There is so much I want to say. And I feel like there is so much you want to know. How is Nicaragua? What is it like? What is the political situation? How do I live? What is my community like? I’m not sure where to start with all these questions. I think I’m still trying to answer them for myself. But everyday I become more aware that this experience is about a lot more than me…

What is it about?

Its about the guy that hangs outside our house every night around 7ish, across the street, trying to watch us eat dinner. Men hang out on the streets drinking every night (and morning for that matter). And the fellow across the street has given us no reason to believe he is dangerous in any way. I hear my Dad saying “Marg, this is like the beginning of a Stephan King novel!” But I also think of Home Alone (movie) when the kids are so afraid of the guy with the shovel, who really just protects them in the end. I’ll let you know how the story turns out…

It’s about “simple living”… last week Mary and Josh (community mates) went to the campo (countryside) to spend time with a family. THEY (people in the campo) know what it means to live simply. See Mary’s blog for reflections on that (link on right). Mary came back saying “You should see how these people live! We don’t live simply at all!” This is true. Maybe we live simply by standards that I was used to in the States. Today I washed a Ziploc bag… they are re-usable after all. But many people here don’t use Zip Loc bags at all. We don’t use paper towels in this house. We just use washcloths that we wash each week. Not a big deal, just a difference.

While Mary and Josh were in the campo, James, Adriana and I guarded the house. James and I spent most of our time rocking in our sweet rocking chairs, reading books, and playing Sudoku. I simply enjoyed his company, thoughts, reflections, debates, all. Last week, simple living for me was eating the beans we burnt on Tuesday night, for just about every meal for the rest of the week. I’ve grown to like mustard… with beans…

If simple living means “living like the poor,” I don’t think I’m doing that really. Because if for a second I do feel as though I’m living “simply,” by this standard, I just need think about the 7 year old boy that was crawling on his hands and knees on the floor of the dirty public bus, at 8pm Sunday, asking for money as he shined our flip flops. I am not on the bus floor.

If simple living means embracing the stillness of life, beauty, and God’s omnipresent blessings, I might be living simply. I wake up every morning to the sound of pigeons tapping away on our tin roof. I like it. I like knowing that they are up there, breathing, and being pigeons (I’m not certain that they are pigeons. Some sort of bird.) It rained yesterday for a half hour or so. I love the resolving sound of rain. And it comforted me in a new way this time, knowing that the neighbors would not have to “water the block” that day. They water the block so that the amount of sand and dust that comes into our houses is decreased.

Maybe this is simple. Maybe there is simplicity in my ability to write this to your from Matt’s laptop and then pay to use the internet around the corner to post for you to read.

Today, I am simply grateful for you reading.

2007

I graduated from Boston College with a popular theme resounding in my head and heart: "Go, Set the World Aflame"... St. Ignatius' words to St. Francis Xavier. As I sat on a sidewalk on a street in Managua after ringing in the new year with my community, I yet again reflected on this quote. After spending the entire year of 2006 discerning whether or not I would be a Jesuit Volunteer... here I am. In Managua, Nicaragua. On New Years. With my community: James, Josh, Mary, Adriana, Matt, and Nicaragua. Will I be setting anything aflame here? I'm not so sure. As far as I can tell at this moment, Managua is setting itself aflame. Fireworks have been going off all night long, and at midnight, the entire city erupted with them. Nothing like 4th of July in the U.S.... Maybe, like the grand finale, times 10, for about an hour non-stop...outrageosity.

So if 2006 was spent dreaming, wondering, praying, leading up to right now... Dec. 5 2006 through Dec. 2008, what will 2007 hold? More of "right now"... I hope. Challenges. Adventures. Learning... Learning to love. Learning to serve in whatever way I can, right here, right now. What does this mean?

Dorothy Day shared some wisdom with me tonight...
"Yes, the poor are always going to be with us -- Our Lord told us that -- and there will always be a need for our sharing, for stripping ourselves to help others. It will always be a lifetime job." -April 1953

While I am not here in Managua for a lifetime (though sometimes it does seem like that)... and I'm not sure what I will be setting aflame (if anything)... I believe I am here for this kind of sharing...

Thank you for sharing the journey with me...